http://www.english.hadhramaut.info Marriage in Tarim, more continuity, little dowry [The Source: sabanews.net - 30/05/2009] Marriage in Hadramout is unique in terms of dowry and traditions. When a young man intends to marry, he tells his parents what he wants.In most cases, the parents are telling their young sons on marrying him. After family members define the bride, the father of the young, or the custodian of the bridegroom, informs the girl's father who discusses the matter with his wife or family member. This process is for keeping the girl as future wife fearing of being engaged to another young man. Dowry After acceptance of the girl's family of the marriage, the family of the youth define the time of delivering the dowry, so men family members of the bridegroom come together to the house of the girl's family carrying with them a suitcase contains some cosmetic materials in addition to the dowry. Both members of the two families are gathered to know each others. They talk about marriage having sweets and drinking and set nearly to one hour then before leaving, the senior raises his hands praying for Allah to bless the marriage and then recite the Fatiha surat. While greed is famous in most of Yemeni parts in dealing with financial procedures during marriage, the dowry in Tarim city has different purpose. Mostly, it no less than YR 20,000 and no more than 50,000 (dowry in other areas reaches to YR 1 million). However, Tarim citizen ask for bigger dowry if the bridegroom is not from the area. Bride is not shown to bridegroom One of the strangest things in Tarim is that the fiancée is completely hidden to the suitor after engagement, even they are relatives or living in one house. People think that it is shame to suitor to enjoy his eyes by seeing his engaged girl only in the first day of wedding. In this day, the bride is adorned with the best of her adornments and brought home in procession in her complete beauty. Early marriage in Tarim Early marriage is the worst habit in Tarim. Some parents marry their daughters underage neglecting aftermaths of such marriage against the girl and the family. In some cases, an adult young asks for the hand of a girl at 10 or 12 years and marry her after two or three years of engagement. Though divorce ratio is very low here, there are some damages and aftermaths. Asking some parents on their opening early marriage in the city and whither they accept such thing, they first expressed their refusal to the case but then affirmed that every custodian is free with his daughter.We asked them again about reasons force man to marry his little daughter, they said "citizens feel that their daughters remain virgins in their houses so they cannot endure see their daughters grow older." The added "when a suitable youth come asking for the hand of the girl, the family accepts directly, but inform her, fearing of going to another girl and their girl left unmarried. So they give her to the youth even if she is underage." Wedding preparations When wedding appointment approaches, the two families of the girl and the youth start reservation of the cookers, chanters or singers and others who have to participate in the wedding.The two families, especially of the bridegroom, exert efforts to prepare the wedding room. The room is furnished and adorned with lights. The bride's family prepares clothes of wedding and bringing gold and jewelries to adorn their girl, as well as preparing the house and adorning it. Great audience to witness writing marriage contract Marriage contract in Tarim is written a day before wedding with great attendance of guests. It is written usually in a mosque after Isha'a (night) Prayer where great number of people attends for prayer and witness the contract. The bridegroom comes with his family and the bride's father comes also with his men family members to attend writing the contract. Marriage contract is considered forthright charter in Islamic world linking the married couple. Madkhana ( a brazier for burning incense) is never neglected while writing the contract. Bridegroom and the bride's father put their hands on the smoke of incense and after finishing writing the contract, the bridegroom kisses the hand of his father in law or the custodian and hands of all senior people attending the contract. Then friends and relatives of the bridegroom near the bridegroom to congratulate him. If the contract is not written in the mosque, it must be written at the house of the bridge, never at the house of the bridegroom only in one case, the couple lives in one house. People invited to the house in due time. The family of the bridegroom brings sesame to the family of the bride and distributes it to the attendance as a blessing and appreciation to the attendance after contract. Among the stable customs in Tarim is that the invited people, especially family of the bride come to the bridegroom's house the first day. They bring with them envelops contain money to the bridegroom's family as assistance to this family during the marriage days. While in the second day, this habit is repeated in the house of the bride. However they are not the same people who came to the bridegroom house but people who are invited by the family of the bride. A lunch at the bride's house, supper with bridegroom's family A day after writing marriage contract, the marriage ceremonies began at the bride's family, the bridge comes to the house of his bride to have lunch with the family. He returns with his family to his house to prepare for supper party to which bridegroom's family are invited. This ceremony is held at the bridegroom's house. After Isha'a prayer, invited people come to the bridegroom's house to have lunch and share bridge his happiness. The party starts after supper and last for long time of the night. Then in a late time of the night, the bridge is brought from her house to house of the bridegroom to stay at a room while he finishes his party and be adorned and perfumed. They bring him to the room and close the door upon them to spend the first and the best night in their. Relatives bring gold gifts to the bride In the morning the bridegroom comes out to his family after having breakfast with his bride to greet people who come to visit him. In this day the bridegroom and his family prepare a lunch party to invited people, especially relatives who come with their family members to have lunch with the bridegroom. After lunch party, bride's father, brothers and uncles bring gold with them and put it before the bride who and her mother inform the female guests who give her these gifts. Some female relatives brings also new clothes as gifts to the bride. Exchanging visits between the couple's family members The third day, the family of the bridegroom invites all relatives and bride's relatives to a lunch banquet in their house. They are served with the most delicious meals and sweet food. This habit is called " Khatera" in Tarim. Week later, the family of the bride invites their relatives and family of the bridegroom to similar banquet in their house. This called also called " al-Iqad". There is another habit accompany this banquet. The bridegroom and his bride are invited a day before al-Iqad to spent a night with his bride in private room. In the morning, the bride's mother serves the couple with the teak and the cake Honeymoon Many parents give their children after their marriage a chance to cheer themselves by going out to visit their relatives and friends and spent days with their wives. This chance lasts for a month.